Doing the Right Thing With Right Motives

Have you ever been so focused on a goal that everything else starts to blur? As I logged on here I was shocked to see that it had been over a month since I last posted. Part of the reason is that I became really ill for about 10 days. Another reason is that I have been really focused on getting in shape by working out with a program called P90 by BeachBody. However, I missed 10 days of working out due to an illness.

Now this is where I started to think and wonder if I was going to get off track or get discouraged. I started to think about why I started working out in the first place and what my real goals were. Then I tried to work out again only to find out that my body and health were not back to 100%. I actually had to go back to the workouts I started with 2 months ago. This did not discourage me and in fact I was more encouraged by the fact that I got back in there and did my best. I'm not sure how long it will take me to get back to where I was just 2 weeks ago. Actually it doesn't really matter how long it will take. This bring me to "Doing the right thing with the right motives".

I believe that many people try to do the right thing with the wrong motives only to find themselves very frustrated. Take for instance, loosing weight. People will do almost anything to loose weight. The weight loss industry is a multi-billion business in the United States. People are doing everything from surgery, to ointments, diet pills, fade diets and even diet foods shipped right to your house every month for the rest of your life. For most of these people the main goal is to loose weight. Now loosing weight is a good thing and there are many health benefits with a proper healthy weight. But stop and think about this for a second. Should weight loss be our goal? Isn't this the very reason 90% of the people that loose weight will gain it right back with a little more each time? People loose weight for weddings, class reunions, and every other reason under the sun. Personally I think this is the wrong approach all together.

Let me use an example to prove my point. If you smoke and develop lung cancer, would it make any sense at all to fight the cancer by only taking Chemo Therapy and not stopping the smoking? If you knew that the smoking was causing the illness why would you continue to smoke and only treat the illness with drugs or surgery? It would seem to me that the intelligent thing to do would be to change the things that caused the illness. If you relate this to being over weight it really is the same thing. The obesity problem in the United States is only the symptom or illness but it is not the problem. It is in fact the result of the problem. Our lifestyle is causing an obesity epidemic in our society. Our dietary lifestyle consists of too much fast food, fried foods, sugar, empty calories and not enough exercise. We even will drive around for 5 minuets to wait and get a closer parking space so we won't have to walk an extra 100 feet.

So, now you're asking, "What's your point"? My point is that instead of trying to loose weight we should try to change our lifestyle which caused the weight gain. It's actually much less stressful than constantly denying yourself that piece of pie or Birthday cake. When I started my transformation my goal was to change my lifestyle. I wanted and still want to eat more healthy and more intelligently. I want to exercise in a way that will make me more healthy and lean at the same time. I know that if I do these two things that the weight will take care of itself. If my goal is to loose 20 lbs, what will I do or shoot for once I reach my goal? I have reached that goal many times and I simply went back to the same lifestyle I was denying myself of and guess what. Yes, I gained the weight back.

So if I do the right thing, which is to eat healthy and exercise I can actually relax and allow my weight to become what ever it will become. My motivation is health and lifestyle not weight. Now that information is worth what I call, "Real Money". You can transfer this information to any aspect of your life and I guarantee that you will be more successful. This is true in your business, education, relationships, hobbies, or any goal you have in life. Think about what you really want and why you want it. Boil it down to what are real goals and what are really benefits. If you make a benefit a goal I promise you will experience frustration.

Just my thoughts,

RiceBurnerMonk

I was abducted by Aliens

I was abducted by Aliens. I'm sure that this could be the only explanation for the events I'm about to share with you. When I decided to start working out with p90 and p90x from BeachBody I knew that what my real goal was not just to loose weight. What I wanted and still want is a serious lifestyle change. However, the events lately lead me to believe that things may have gone a little too far. Now, I feel that my weight, health and progress with my workouts are fine. I have actually lost 9 pounds in 30 days and my clothes are loose and my strength, agility and stamina are all getting better every day.

However, I live just outside of Dallas, Texas and the weather today was supposed to be sunshine, partly cloudy and a high of 72. I left the house after my morning workout to take care of some things with my wife's car. I only took my sunglasses because of the great weather I was about to enjoy. I Swear, and I'm not kidding, I think that I and my family were abducted by aliens and transported to Seattle. At least that is what the weather feels like. It's not 72 with the sun shinning, it's actually 58, cloudy and we are under flash flood warnings, (Again). We are on track to be the wettest fall on record. So I must be in Seattle, except the scenery is nothing like Seattle. So, I must be on another Planet or something, because this could not be North Central Texas.

To add to this, when I got back from running into town, I found my Daughter and Mother out in the yard with their cameras. They were taking pictures of two Peacocks in my yard. Yes, I said Peacocks and let me answer your question now and get this out of the way, "I Don't Know".

So, to help me deal with my massive confusion and bewilderment from the events of the day I'm thinking about going back into my workout room and pushing play one more time. For those of you outside of the BeachBody program that means working out to the DVD.

This is a strange land I woke up in this morning. I hope there is some decent trout fishing here because Texas just doesn't offer much. On top of that it's so big you have drive forever to find any decent trout waters. I know there's water here because it's everywhere I look. No Really, there is MOSS growing in my YARD! I'm ready to go back home now.

Just my thoughts.

RiceBurnerMonk

Sore Muscles

Sore Muscles and what it means. I'm 27 days into my workouts using P90 from BeachBody. Today my left arm is really sore which does not surprise me because I'm right handed. The other day I had to do my "Fit Test" which I actually should have done 27 days ago. I'm still getting all the tools I need for my workout room and so the only dumbbells I have are 10 lbs. I got to arm curls and I was supposed to do them until failure. Well, I stopped at 75 because I kept pausing and pushing it but the 10 lb DB's just were not heavy enough to cause failure. I had a feeling I was going to pay for this later but that day I seemed to be fine. On the next day, Friday I was scheduled to do more Weight training and once again I pushed it a little harder because the 10 lb weight. I was able to do more reps than they were doing on the training DVD and I decided to just go until the next set started.

Last night my left arm started to really bother me due to the soreness from the 2 days of workouts. Today I'm still very sore but only with my left arm. Being right handed this actually makes sense. With weight training what happens is that the muscles are pushed to the point of breaking down and tarring and the soreness comes from the healing process. Those that train hard know all to well the common quote "No pain, No gain". This comes from the pain of the healing process of torn or broken down muscles.

So what does all this mean? Well first it means that my exercise is doing some good by pushing my limits. I'm actually able to do more in the workouts today than I was when I first started. That's a good thing and it is very encouraging. So if I keep pushing Play and keep pushing my intensity level that I should keep getting stronger and better. Secondly it means that my body is responding to the workouts and my muscles are healing. Soreness is different than strained or damaged and hurt muscles. If you can move your muscles and work out the soreness to some degree you know that you are not hurt just sore. Also, the pain is different when you are sore than when you are hurt. Soreness is more like a dull pain and it tends to lessen as you move around and stretch. When your hurt the pain is very sharp and tens to get worse if you start moving around and stretching.

So, pain is not a bad thing you just need to learn to read it and listen to your body. The same is true with most things in life. Life is a struggle and every pain is telling us something. Sometimes you have to back off and let things heal before you start pushing it again. That's whey your actually hurt. Sometimes you just have to get in there and start moving again even though you know that when you do it's going to hurt a little. That's when you know you are growing and moving past your comfort zones.

I guess I can say that even though I'm sore today, it's still a good thing. Now, if my left arm will just not fall off when I put my shirt on I'll be in good shape.


Just my thoughts.

RiceBurnerMonk

A New Transformation

Real Transformation will impact every aspect of your life. I started on a journey 3 weeks ago that is changing my life every day. As a matter of fact I'm seeing the impact and implications of this journey that I believe will improve my lifestyle and life. I know, you're saying by now, "get on with it and get it out already". I don't blame you, I'm the same way. I made a new commitment to get healthy and started a program called "P90" from BeachBody.com.

Now I have started workout routines many times in my adult years. For the last 30 or so years of my life I have been a member of many gyms, bought and rode bikes, stayed fairly active with some sports but in the last 6 years or so I have seen my weight and health start to go south. I must admit that I have tried and started this same program 2 times before. I failed both times. Now you ask, "so what makes this time so different"?

#1. I will say personal determination. I know that at 53 years of age that if I do not make it happen now I might not ever make it happen. I want to finish strong not go out with a whimper. So it's now or never.
#2. A willingness to do whatever it takes to succeed. I got to the point where I did not care who thought I had lost my mind or anything. I refused to let anything keep me from my goal. Years ago I read a book on debt by David Ramsey and he said that to get out of debt you have to have the attitude of a gazelle. You have to run like your life depended on it and be willing to expend all of your energy to survive. I have made up my mind to have the same attitude about my health and weight.
#3. Accountability. This time I asked a few people to hold me accountable. I do not mean "Encouragement" but real accountability. I told them that if all I needed was encouragement I would have already done it or at least been in better shape than I am. So, they have my permission to even get in my face and make me mad if that's what it takes to keep me going.
#4. Support. I have also jumped into getting support from others that are also doing this some program on the BeachBody website using their Message Boards. I have to admit that this was a stretch for me. To jump into a conversation with people that I don't know to talk about stuff that I'm still trying to figure out and knowing all along that they are ahead of the curve. Well that took a few days to get up the courage for. But I have started talking to some people and asking for their help and advice.
#5. Results. After only 23 days working out, not counting a few rest days, I have lost 5 pounds, a little over an inch in my gut and my energy level is up and my abilities to do the workouts are 100 % better. I'm only in level one and can not wait to get to the top.

Now, some of the other benefits are that it is forcing me to be more regimented with my days. It's helping me to be more organized. At least I'm seeing a start with my diet and exercise and I expect to see it spill over to other areas. I already feel better about myself and feel like I'm actually accomplishing something beneficial. That in and of itself impacts my relationships with my family, the people around me and my faith. I know the verses that say, "If God is for us who can be against us", but I feel the greatest enemy we have is ourselves. The person that scares me the most, well, it's me. How many times have we let ourselves down? How many times have we not followed through with a promise to others or God? To make a keep a promise to yourself, well, that's huge! You actually start to believe that you can do it. Whatever that might be. You actually start to believe that you can make a promise and keep it. Doubt and self hate is our greatest enemy.

I think we give up in many areas of our lives and it even starts to show in our health. We stop doing the things we want to do because we start to believe that we just can't or we are too old, or we tried that before. I started to hear people say things like, "when you got to be your age". I started to look around and decided that I could not stop time or change my age but I could change my attitude. I can't change my hairline but I could do something about my waistline.

In closing, last night I asked the men in our bible study, why can't we make the same decision to transform our approach to our spiritual formation? Why don't we pull out all the stops to make sure that we grow and become stronger spiritually? What are we willing to do to change the way we are for the way we know we should be? I do not pretend to know what or where you are in life but personally I do not want to stay the same. I'm not satisfied with the way I am and I plan on doing something about it even if it kills me. At least no one will be able to say that I did not try. At least my family will know that I loved them enough to give it my best. At least I can leave a legacy for them that can push them to a higher level. Think about this, most people remember how you finished this life. What will that look like for you? I'm on my way to change mine, want to join me?

Just my thoughts,

Paul

Transformed, Your Life Redefined

Transformed, Your Life Redefined, is a new sermon series we started today at 4 Winds Church. The first in this series was a look at "Discipleship". I believe that the average person going to a church on any given Sunday wants to see their faith actually make a difference in their lives. More than just going to a service hoping that the preacher is "on". I mean, why go if it's just going to be the same thing every week with the same results and the same struggles each Monday - Saturday? Here is where there seems to be friction between our internal desires and outward expressions.

Even though we know that we are called to be a disciple most people in the church today probably don't even understand the word. To be a disciple you have to be willing to be not only taught by another but also to take on those values and teachings held by the teacher. In other words, you actually become "like" the teacher or Master. To do this one has to be willing to give up everything that does or could get in the way of that transformation. Jesus said it very clearly in Luke 14:33 where He says that you can not be His disciple if you do not give up everything else important to you, including family. When we follow Christ it is an "All Or Nothing" venture. I believe that most Christians approach following Christ like cramming for the final exam. If we can just pass the test by getting the bonus question right we can get into Heaven. However, Christ said that eternal life was not where you live but in "knowing the one that the Father sent". Once again we find that it's about having this "Relationship" that is most important. Yet, in our modern culture I find that all we really want to do it "pass the test". How sad is it that the very transformation we would really like to have, we are not even aware that it's our attitude that keeps us from attaining it. Do we read and go to school to learn "truth" or just to get a degree so we can make money? Do we go to church so we can pass the "eternal exam", or to be transformed so we can live the "abundant life" Jesus promised?

Jesus said that if we loved Him we would keep His commandments. What did He command us to do? In the great commission we find the He commanded us to "make disciples". We also find in scripture that we are supposed to teach people who in turn would be able to teach others as well. So here is where it starts to get real messy.

How many of us are willing to have someone else speak spiritual truths into our lives on a regular basis outside of listening to sermons? How many of us are willing to put aside our personal agenda in order to pursue a transformed life in Christ? How many of us are willing to pour our lives into someone else as the scriptures commands us to? When we refuse to teach, train and lead others we are stopping up the flow of the Holy Spirit in our lives. We were created in Christ for the very purpose of helping others grow in their faith in Christ. It is what He commanded us to do. Jesus even said that He would be with us to the very end of the age as we do what He commanded us to do. For Christians to experience real transformation, there must be a willingness to live out a "Life On Life" life. Without this willingness there will simply be more of the same results from the same approach and attitudes. If you want your life to be transformed, start helping others grow in their faith. Start looking for a Mentor to pour truth into your life.
You will have to be willing to be like "Young Grasshopper" from the TV show "Kung fu". You're going to have to Google that one.

Just my thoughts

See Jonah Obey

Jonah finally did obey God and fulfill his vow as a spokesman for God. Yet we still see a hard heart in Jonah as he preached. The Scriptures tell us that Nineveh was a 3 day walk around the city. That's a large city even in today's standards. Yet we find that Jonah only walked one day through the city preaching. It is as though Jonah walks straight through the city to just give it a once over if you will. This means that about 2/3 rd of the city did not hear the message at all.

Now, in spite of the half hearted effort of Jonah, we see that the city repented! The movement within the city was great enough that it reached the ears of the King and he issues a decree that everyone was to fast, pray and repent! Sort of sounds like a modern day politician watching the opinion polls if you ask me.

Here is where the story gets very interesting. The city repents to the point that the Lord holds back His judgement and does not destroy them. Since the Lord can see the heart we are forced to concede that they must have truly repented, at least to the fullest of their understanding. These Ninevites were a ruthless people that were so violent that the surrounding peoples hated them with a vengeance. Yet they repent at the preaching of Jonah. The sad truth is that we do not find any proof that any of the Godly people of Israel came to teach, disciple or mentor these people. With this void in teaching and training in the word of God we find that they revert back to their old ways in 1 generation. Approximately 37 years after the preaching of Jonah and the staying of Gods wrath we find that the Ninevites attack the northern kingdom of Israel and destroy them. Then in 612 BC the King of Babylon teams with other kingdoms against Nineveh and not only conquers them, but totally destroys the city down to the foundations. The city was lost for 2000 years never to be inhabited again. This was the fulfilment of Gods warning to them.

What would have happened to both the Ninevites and Israel if they had only reached out to them and trained them in the word of God? What would history look like if Jonah and his fellow countrymen, would have seized the day? In their hatred of the Ninevites they sealed their own destruction and revealed their own wicked hearts. It was this hard hearted issue that God points out to Jonah in chapter 4 of the book of Jonah. God proves Himself in this little book as the one who forgives and judges. He is righteous and holy in the display of both.

Are you helping someone else grow in their faith today? Is there a void of real discipleship in the church today? Are you being a part of the solution? Christ commanded us to "Make Disciples" not to work harder so we can get a raise. Did I just do a little meddling just then? If there is a moral void in the church today, who is at fault? If marriages are falling apart in the church at the same rate as those outside the church, who is at fault? If "Christians" are falling back into their old habits and ways, who is at fault? The story of Jonah, Israel and the Ninevites is one that maybe we as American "Christians" should take heed in. Before we start blaming the government, or people groups for the trials in this world maybe we should look into our own hearts and ask, are we doing everything the Lord has asked of us?

Don't just do what God says, put your heart into it. Look for ways to fulfill the ways of God in your life and those around you. We do not need a newly spoken word from the Lord, we have the scriptures. Jesus said the "if you love me you will keep my commandments". So, we have our work orders for the day, "make Disciples". Be one today. Help a fellow believer grow in their faith. Pour your life into another and watch the fruit of your labor as they start to help others. Now that's a garden worth working in and a pay raise that will reap eternal returns.

Just my Thoughts

See Jonah Pray

The story of Jonah is a story of a man called by God to preach His word and yet he runs from the presence of God and refuses to preach the message given to him. I'm sure that anyone reading this will know the story of Jonah and the whale. Jonah runs from God and finds himself as the first passenger on a submarine. It is during this dark time in the belly of the whale that Jonah prays to God and admits his rebellion. We also see is this prayer a reference to his crisis prayer as he was on the verge of drowning. At the bottom of the sea with the weeds wrapped around his head he finally calls out to God.

I think this is the most sad part of the story. Jonah could not have gotten any lower before he prays to the God he knows! What causes a person to run from a loving God? What is it in us that we are willing to sink so low before we will admit our failure? The obvious answer is sin, but if we believe in Jesus and profess to follow Him, why do we have to fall so far before we turn back to Him?

The scriptures are clear that if we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive our sins. In spite of our faithlessness, God is always faithful. What He says He will do, we can be sure that He "will" do it. How far is too far in our waiting to call on Him? The scriptures also talk about the judgment of God. It seems that we constantly want to test the patience of God. In our day of adrenalin junkies, it would be wise to not go to the edge of God's patience. When we get to the very bottom of our lives and then look up to the Lord He is always there to forgive, but the climb back up can be a long one. Even though God saved Jonah and used him to preach and bring revival to Nineveh I believe he still held the scars of the partially digested skin. I have seen people brought back from the edge of destruction by the grace of God and yet still carry the scars that now proclaim God's mercy. God will and can take our destroyed lives and make something beautiful and useful out of them. Our past even though it never goes away, God is able to use it and change our perspective on our own lives and His ability to restore and use us.

Today, I would rather not hit bottom before I decide to look up. Today I want to start off by praying to the Heavenly Father that I know loves me. Today I want to end my day by praying to the Heavenly Father who helped me through the day. Today I want to plan on starting my climb tomorrow from a better position than I started from today.
"Prayer" It can make all the difference in everything in your life today. Why wait until you hit bottom. I don't know about you but I would rather ride in a sail boat and be able to have a better view of the sunset than ride in a submarine and stare at the walls.
I think I'll stop writing now and go talk to the Father....

Just My Thoughts,
RiceBurnerMonk

See Jonah Run

Jonah ran from God and he became the first person to ride in a submarine. My guess is that is was not a comfortable ride. In the account of Jonah we are told that he ran but not why he ran. We do know that Jonah admitted that he understood that God was compassionate and that if the people of Nineveh repented that God would forgive them. What drove Jonah to hate these people so much? Here we have a prophet of God that is willing to die before he sees a group of people repent and follow the same God he is following. Wow, now that's a sad thing to have written about you for all people to read.

A few weeks ago I saw a video clip from "Penn Says" about a man that gave him a bible. Penn Jillette admits that he is an Atheist and that this gift did not change his mind. He also says that if you really believe in Jesus and God, how much do you have to hate someone to not tell them about Him? Wow, do you think that all Christians should watch this clip? This comment comes from an admitted non-believer and calls out Christians as hateful if you do not tell people about Jesus.

The scriptures are clear on this subject. Jesus called all believers to be busy about making disciples, teaching them to obey everything He taught. We are also told that how can someone believe in Christ unless we tell them about Him, and how will they hear if we do not go? Where would the Church of Jesus Christ be today if everyone that called themselves "Christian", would just do what He commanded us to do? What if we tried to not beat the gospel into people but to lovingly share the gospel with them? What if we were to actually befriend people with the desire to share the gospel with them? What if we still loved people even if they did not accept the gospel message?

The people of Nineveh heard a true message from a disobedient messenger and they believed. How many would believe today if we would just tell them? Are there too many people in the church today running from God? I'm not sure but there does seem to be a lot of storms out there. Maybe years ago they heard God call and now they are hiding in the lower regions of the boat trying to sleep it out. Maybe they do in fact "hate" their neighbor. Should read what the Scriptures have to say about that. Scary stuff if you ask me.

As I sit in my study preparing this message it makes me want all the more to get out on my bike and find some new friends that do not know the Lord.
How are you finding new friends that do not know the Lord? Do you have a friend that knows the Lord and has not told you? Call them out and ask why. It will help both of you if you have the courage.
Jonah ran but he did not win a medal for it. However, he could be listed in the hall of shame.

Just My Thoughts,

Riceburnermonk

Fireworks that work

As a fellowship we celebrated the 4th of July last night setting off a lot of fireworks. It was a blast, (pun intended) getting together with friends and family for the evening. I'm not sure how much we really spent on the fireworks but I would say that it was enough. We had some from our fellowship, some great friends that drove across town to come out and spend the evening with us and a few guests.

During our time setting off the fireworks one of my friends had one misfire and almost went off in his hand. I think that is why the instructions tell you to never hold a "Roman Candle" in your hand while lighting it. One explosion went off very close to his ear and he had to through it to save himself from a real injury. Most of the rest of the fireworks did however go off properly. That's nice since family owns the fireworks stand.

I had the chance to meet some new people last night and one of the families came to visit us this morning for worship. They came last night with one of the members of our fellowship and I was introduced to them just before we left the event. As I talked with them this morning they said that they really enjoyed the worship experience and were planning on returning. To me that made the whole event worth while.

Reaching out to people is a lot like setting off fireworks. There is that great anticipation of what you will see as you get the fireworks ready to light. Then there is the effort to get that little fuse lit in the dark, (some one should come up with a way to make those things glow in the dark). Once the fuse is lit there is the adrenaline rush as you move away hoping that what you are about to see was worth the money, effort and time. Sometimes there is that misfire that almost sends you off to the emergency room. That's never fun but we always come back for more fireworks. Most of the time the display of sound and color and lights is worth it all. When we reach out to new people we are never given a guarantee that the response will be a good one. But when you work hard at building relationships, risking your comfort zone and try to help point people to the one who brought peace into your life the end result is spectacular! So to all of you out there that like fireworks, try to light up a life this week. Light that fuse even though it's hard to see sometimes and step back to see if it was worth it.
Scriptures tell us that the angles in heaven celebrate over the soul turned to Christ. My guess is that that celebration is better and bigger than the one we had last night.

Just my thoughts,

Riceburnermonk

When a marriage fails

I just returned from a premarital counseling appointment that was a blessing. It feels good to be involved in a couples life when you believe that their marriage will be a success. As a pastor I see too often those that do not succeed. Did you know that the divorce rate among those that attend church is the same as those that do not? It's sad to think that 50% of all marriages will fail. What happens to cause this? Where are we missing the point?

In my years of experience I have noticed that a marriage will fail in most cases because of one of about 4 reasons. At the top of the list is "communication". Without good communication everything else is sure to be a struggle. Now I do not mean just hearing the other person speak their mind. I mean actually communicating your feelings and desires. Actually working at making sure that each one in the relationship understands what their mate is going through and what they really want in life. Even in "Christian" marriages I still see partners guessing what their mate is thinking or wanting. Maybe we should just read Ephesians 5 again and start to practice it. If you're reading this and your married, "Talk to your mate".

The other reasons I see marriages fail is because of either,
Money:
Religion:
Sex:
You can have problems in these areas and still work through them if you have good communication. If on the other hand you do not, then it's going to be an up hill battle.
Money: The problems I see in couples that revolve around money are usually because of debt, lack of a budget and lack of a financial plan. In our current financial situation in the United States this issue should be very clear. When you live beyond you income and plan on paying for debt with income from tomorrow you are asking for trouble. This is the kind of stress that will kill a marriage. Stress will suck the life out of everything around you, including your health and the health of your marriage. The lack of proper money management is a constant source of stress that will not go away with the next raise. It will not go away by winning the lottery or getting that inheritance. We simply find a way to spend what we have and mismanage it along the way no matter if we have little or much. It's the management of it that makes the difference. Dealing with money from a biblical perspective is in my opinion the best way. To oversimplify it let me say this.
#1. Stay out of debt and cut up those credit cards. THEY ARE ROBBING YOU OF YOUR FUTURE!
#2. Make a budget and do everything to stick to it. I just wish our government would do the same.
#3. Plan for the future. How will you deal with the money issues of sicknesses or disasters? They are coming you know.
#4. Discuss your finances on a regular basis with your mate. This is how you pay to live on this earth. Might be a good idea to keep the communication flowing, unless you just want to surprise your mate with the news that you are really in more debt than they thought. Not good for your marriage or physical well being.

Sex: This is the area that most people will not talk about to anyone. Not their pastor, friend, counselor, or even their mate. It is however the most powerful of issues in any marriage. It's not just the physical act that I'm talking about. It's the need to love and be loved and then the ability to express it. Everyone wants to be loved and to be able to love someone else in return. The struggle comes in the process of expression. This is why sex outside of marriage can be so destructive. The expression of love through the act of sex is supposed to be a special and intimate act of the deepest level. If that expression becomes anything less or worse, a sport to be enjoyed, you have opened up a floodgate of potential problems. This is why it's common knowledge that relationships change as soon as sex comes into the picture. If in a marriage there is a problem in the area of sexual activity, I can promise you that there is poor communication.
I have used a book by Gary Chapman called "The Five Love Languages" for years. I highly recommend it. It's not a sex book but more of a communication book that does touch on sex or intimacy and how we view and value it. I have found that people get married because they love someone. Problems arise in the area of sexual expression in a large part because people forget or never learn how to communicate those feelings in a way that their mate will understand. At the beginning of the problems we still love but can not figure out why we are struggling in expressing it. The arguments are usually misunderstandings that grow into huge problems that become harder to deal with.
Religion: This is the area where there is more confusion than one would think. I'm not simply talking about making sure that both the husband and wife are "Christians". Obviously, in my view that would be best. However, I'm talking about something slightly different. I'm sure I'm going to get some replies on this point. What I'm talking about are your life's values. It's the basic truths that you will not let go of even to the point of death. It's those truths that are at the very core of your view of life. This is where you could have a couple in a marriage that are both "Christian" and yet still struggle with "Religion". If your view is different from your mate and you believe that your view is the "Right" view, this could become a problem. How will you deal with grief when it comes to your door? Will your mate respond in the same way you do? How will you deal with the response of your mate when you do not agree with the way they are dealing with the same grief you are dealing with? Your "Life's Values" or "Religion" will play a huge role in your response to the struggles of life. Pain, disappointment, failures, death, sickness and struggles are a part of all of our lives. How will you respond when they come? Will you even be able to understand your mates response?

How can we overcome these issues to have a better chance to be successful in marriage? I propose that the key is Jesus Christ. When two people join their lives together and make their faith is Jesus Christ active in their marriage, their chance of survival sky rocket. When two people who are changing over the years find out that they have both been growing toward the same goal, they find that they have more in common late in life than they did when they were just married. I have found that couples that come to me for crisis marriage counseling are NOT doing the following:
Praying for their mate to be all that God wants them to be.
Working on communicating their needs and also understanding the needs of their mate.
Actively pouring their lives into others so they can experience growth.
Making their faith the central point in their marriage.
Regularly reading their bibles.
Communicating with their mate what God is doing in their lives and marriage.

You can even in this current cultural climate, divorce proof your marriage. Willing to put it to a test? Work on these areas and my bet is that you will not cross my door for crisis marriage counseling. I'll give you a money back guarantee on it. Give it try and I'll bet you will see an improvement before you know it.

Just my thoughts on it.

Pastor Paul

News about a move

It's exciting to see God at work in our fellowship! Sunday as we met in the Scott Elementary school the temperature was really up there. Seems the wrong AC unit came on in the wrong rooms. So, it was Hot in worship and not because of my preaching! Matt and our worship team did a great job despite the heat. During the service I was able to share some exciting news about an open door for us to move into a new facility. Being mobile is exciting and helps us stay in touch with the community. There are a few obstacles that come along with this approach. One of which is "where do you have practice for your worship team"? We have been getting set up early on Sunday mornings and the team tries to practice before service times. Not an easy elephant to eat. Well, about 3 weeks ago we were approached by the owner of Stonebrook Leaning center in Royse City. He asked if we would like to purchase his building. Of course I said we would. However, we are far too small to afford it. The conversation moved to a 12 month lease with an option to buy. Even though he is still pursuing his options to sell the building we have agreed to move into the building.

So, in about 4 weeks we will be moving into a different facility where we can leave our stuff set up and have a place for our worship team to practice! We have some folks that are praying about helping us purchase the building as well! God is at work and it's awesome to watch!

Matt has started a new ministry and website called "Project Shading" where he is organizing efforts to reach out and minister to those in need in the Royse City community. Our Encounter groups are growing and we are starting our first Triad Discipleship group in July, where they commit to leading another Triad when this unit is complete.

Well, our desire is to keep our "Missional" mindset. We will still have bible studies off campus. We will still have some of or should I say, most of our staff meetings off campus. We will still work at being the church outside the four walls even though having some permanent walls do help. We still see ourselves as representatives of Christ with the responsibility to live out and share the truth about Christ in our every day lives.

Tomorrow I need to see what I can do about that air conditioner! It's still hot here in Texas!

What in the world is a Riceburnermonk? That's actually a long story but I will try to keep it bite sized. Since I was young I have always charted a course against the current. I'm not sure why because it's always harder to go upstream. I have heard that the struggle will make you stronger. Sometimes I think it's going to kill me instead.

Well cutting to the chase. Harley Davidson is the most popular motorcycle around. The heritage and connection with being made in the great USA is enough to attract any country loving rider. The style and sound is unmistakable as they tour the high ways of the countryside. The camaraderie among the HOG riders is unshakable. These attributes alone are enough to draw most riders into the fold. It's actually an event just to go into any Harley dealership. The one drawback is that they can be a bit pricey. This is also connected to their maintenance expenses. The competitors from the other side of the pond are mostly Asian and consist of companies like Honda and Yamaha. The Harley owners are fiercely loyal and have strong opinions about their bikes and all other brands. The slang name for all the Asian bikes is "Riceburner". This is where I enter into the motorcycle story.
I started riding late in life. I'm not sure if it was a midlife crisis but I do know that it helps clear out all the cobwebs. Anyway, as I looked for my first bike I stayed away from the more expensive Harley because, well, my income for one and the other was that I was not sure if I would keep up this new hobby. I stumbled on a great deal on a 1988 Yamaha Venture. Let me tell you it was one sweet ride. I have sense bought another Yamaha which is a Road Star, and I have to say that I love my bike. About 18 months ago I started a Star Riding and Touring chapter in Rockwall, Tx. My personal desire is to live out my faith in Jesus Christ in such a way to prove that faith in Christ is anything but boring or irrelevant. My calling in this life is to proclaim the good news of a saving relationship with God that is provided through faith in Jesus Christ. In the process of mixing my love for motorcycles and faith in Christ I came up with a name to relate to that strange mixture. Thus the name "Riceburnermonk" was born.

For all of you Harley owners out there, you do in fact ride a nice ride. As usual I simply find myself riding upstream. In my small way I hope I can make a difference in the lives of those I encounter in this short life. I hope that people will learn to respect those of us out there on the roads that are not in a car. I hope that people can learn to not judge me or you by the actions of larger groups that we may or may not even ride with. I think that true believers in Christ deserve to be heard but most struggle to find a way that others will take the time to listen. If you see me going down the road on my "riceburner" I hope you will take the time to listen and hear my heart. BTW, even though it's not a Harley I think my Road * has a nice sound in her heart as well.

See you out there on the road and as always remember,
"Life's too short to be boreing and too precious to waste"

Riceburnermonk